random thoughts I suppose;

its been a decent week even despite the bi-polar mood swings of a certain someone.
its understandable, and I think we reached a agreement tonight finally.

Im slightly annoyed at stupid annoying sophomore girls who dont even know me, yet find it nessicary to attempt to be nosey in my business. haha whatever. they are dumb.

i finished my math mid-term at 1:30 this morning, and sadly, bombed it haha. wasnt happy about that one.

my birthday is so soon, im super stoked to be 18!
and im going to the drive in tomorrow night! whoo! i havent been in so long.

i miss my friends.
night.

here i go again;

im so tired of people having false opinions of me.
I am all ready aware that half the people that read this are going to laugh and think im so stupid.
i dont care. im just tired of it

Not wanting to be with someone any more does not make you a whore.
buying a expensive dress for a dance does not make you desperate.


im aware of what I used to be, no one has to say mean things to remind me.
I know trust me, i cant change the past,
but i can live for a better future. and I am now.
but what im so tired of is people thinking im the same as I was before who dont even know me now.
ill admit it. I was not a great person ok? Is that what every one is looking for? because i just dont know what to do to make people see any more
i should not care I know,
but Im so sick of people calling me a whore and saying that im selfish and saying all the mean shit they are saying.
please, take a chance to see who I am now,
and then if you say that stuff I guess its a little more justified.

I know that I should only care about what my friends think and say,
but tell me, how should you not care about what the rest of the world sees in you.

its just so defeating to feel so helpless,
and to have something crush your happiness every time you start feeling it again.
and go ahead, laugh and form your opinions. i know most of you will.
goodnight.

haha

at all the people ragging on me.
i actually saved up that money for my dress all year because I knew I wanted a nice dress for the last dance of high school.

basically;

i love enchanted. it was the best movie ever haha.
and, this further proves why John McLaughlin is my favorite ever.

great best friend;

Zack and I were suppose to go to senior ball.
i have been counting down the days. i was so excited.
he calls me today and tells me hes taking allison instead.
like its no big deal or something.
i actually cried when I got home tonight over it.
how cool is that.
well I must say, I did not spend 350 on the most amazing dress in the world to be let down.
ill still have a blast.
fucking ass whole.

never have I;

been so mad and upset, yet so happy at the same time.
ever.
im tired of having my trust violated,
and im tired of fighting.

Yet, being this frustrated,
I have actually had the best 3 days Ive had for as long as I can remember.
Hopefully I can just forget about my frustrations, and have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Attention;

I know who I am.
I have been going through this on going struggle lately feeling like I lost since of who I really am,
but, its over.
I totally know where I'm going in life,
I let go of what I needed to even though it was hard,
and all of a sudden I just knew I had found what I was looking for.
Waking up these past few days has just been, different.
I'm happy to be alive and here in this moment.
I'm happy to be me.