ugh;

today is not so great.
kinda got ditched for golfing and fishing,
and then found out tristen is thinking of moving to Cali.
but no worries, its not suppose to worry me.


im just grumpy.
tired from work,
and now have nothing to do all night.
I dont know. Latly I have just been wanting something that I cant seem to grasp hold of.
I mean, what girl does not want to fall in love, but honestly thats all I want.
I want to be head over heals in love with someone.
I want to feel the mutual feelings that come from an amazing relationship.
I just cant find that right now, its like its lost somewhere. I hate it.
I know you cant just find something like that,
but Im so tired of trying and failing.
I always get fucked over and I know its because I am to trusting, hopeful and gullible.
Its the only way I know how to be though.
Is this going to be another failure?
Im positive you dont read this sir, but if by chance you do sometime,
give me some hope please. I could really use it.