Having trust issues is a fatty curse, I swear.
I am scared all the time, and the thought of fully letting someone know every little bit of me,
horrifies me.
Despite how bad I want to completely trust, I just cant.
I have been screwed over so many times in the past that Im afraid it will happen again,
No matter how much I want to trust the other person, even if they have done nothing to make me not trust them.
I scare myself sometimes how freaked out I get over basically nothing.
I hope this time is different.
Correction; this time WILL be different. Because Im going to put everything I have into it.
I have never wanted anything to work more in my life.
On another side of things that make me think to much,
graduation is closer than ever, and Im actually kind of depressed about it.
I through away my whole senior year to college.
Even though I do not regret doing running start,
it has finally hit me that I did not get to be a "senior"
I missed out on being with the kids I spent my whole life with.
I missed out on all the fun things I was looking forward to like senior memories,
and most importantly, I made a decition that lost me the chance to sing at graduation.
That was a big thing for me, obviously choir has been my life for as long as I can remember.
I miss my highschool friends, for the first time in my life,
I feel like I actually have lost them for good. and it makes me sad.
I do love where my life is at right now dont get me wrong.
I feel mature finally, and am really excited to grow up.
but I do miss some things.
good night.
definitely 6 days till by birthday. im stoked.
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maybe its all come down to a new begenning.
3 comments:
Hey, this is easy to say, but don't worry about it. Highschool is a joke. The friends you make in college are the ones that you actually stay friends with your whole life. College is where you actually grow up and become the person you will probably be the rest of your life. You will look back at highschool and the people from then and laugh at how much of a kid you really still were. Trust me, you will love college and vaule those memories so much more.
-one of your older friends
thanks:)
dude, i did running start too and you totally miss out on alot. its sad for sure. sometimes i think i regret it, and then I think about how much more prepared and ready for life I am. and how not stuck in a socail rut I am. dont feel so bummed out. you got more.
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